Transcriber: Zsófia Herczeg
Customer: Peter Van de Ven Every person states you have to prepare yourself
to retire economically. As well as certainly you do. What they don't tell you
is that you likewise need to prepare psychologically. That knew? It's essential
for a couple of factors. First, 10,000 North Americans
will retire today and also every day for the next 10 to 15 years. This is a retired life tidal wave. As well as when these individuals come
collapsing onto the beach, a lot of them are mosting likely to really feel
like fish out of water without a clue as to what to expect. It's vital
since there is a really excellent opportunity that you will live one third
( Laughter) (Praise) So as we walk, we've entered the behavior of selecting a subject for discussion.
And eventually, the subject was,” Just how do you press all that juice out of retirement?” Just how ' s that for 7:00 in the early morning? We walk and we speak, and also the next day, we go on to the next topic.But the inquiry remained with me since I was actually having some difficulties with retired life. I was active enough,
I really didn't feel really feel I was doing very much
I was actually struggling
. I decided to dig much deeper. Simply not what I was looking for.
And most importantly, you'll know that there is a stage 4 -one of the most satisfying, pleasing of the 4 phases -and that's where you can squeeze all the juice out of
retirement. Stage one is the getaway stage, and also that's just what it resembles. You get up when you want, you do what you want all day. As well as the most effective component is that there is no set routine.For most
individuals, phase one represents their sight of an optimal retirement. Loosening up, enjoyable in the sun -flexibility, infant.
( Laughter) And also for the majority of individuals, phase
one lasts for concerning a year or two, and afterwards,
oddly, it starts to shed its luster. We start to feel a little bit bored. We in fact miss our routine.
Something in us seems to need one. Phase two is when we really feel loss, and also we really feel lost. We shed a sense of purpose.
Currently, we don't see these points coming. It's like, poof, gone. That's just the way it is.
Twist up and also get prepared. The good news is, eventually, the majority of us say to ourselves, “Hey, I can not take place such as this
. I do not desire to invest the rest of my life, probably 30 years, really feeling like this.” And also when we do, we have actually turned the corner to phase three.Phase three is a time of experimentation. In phase 3, we ask ourselves, “How can I make my life meaningful once more? How can I contribute?” The response frequently is to do things that you like to do and do actually well. However phase 3 can also provide some disappointment as well as failure. For instance, I spent a couple of years offering on an apartment board till I lastly obtained tired of being shouted at. (Giggling) You see, one year the board made a decision that we were mosting likely to plant daffodils instead of the conventional daisies.
( Laughter) As well as we got chewed out. Go number. I believed about regulation school, thinking probably of ending up being a paralegal.
And afterwards I completed a program on disagreement resolution.
It all went nowhere. I enjoy to write. And that is not a happy possibility.
What's my mission?
Maybe you'll resemble the old coots.( Giggling)( Applause) Yeah. These people took a cubicle in the neighborhood farmers market and were prepared to provide their advice based on their huge years of experience to anyone who came by.
One of their very first visitors was a child that wanted assist with his mathematics research (Giggling) on his tablet.( Laughter) They did the ideal they could. Or maybe you'll be like my close friend Costs.
I satisfied Costs a couple of years earlier in a 55 plus task group.
In the summer season, we golf together and stroll with each other as well as bike with each other. And also in the wintertime, we curl.
Expense had this idea that we ought to work out Our brains. He believed that there was an incredible pool of know-how as well as experience in our group, therefore he came close to a number of folks and also asked if they would volunteer to teach a few of things that they like to do to others. And also almost usually, they concurred. Costs himself instructed 2 sessions, one on iPads and one on apples iphone, due to the fact that we were clever adequate to know
that a variety of our members had actually been provided these points as presents at Christmas( Giggling )by their children, and also that they hardly recognized just how to transform them on.The very first year, we used nine programs, as well as there were 200 folks authorized up. The next year, that number increased to 45 programs with over 700 folks taking part. As well as the following year, we used over 90 programs as well as had 2100 enrollments. Incredible.( Praise )That was Costs.
They educated us to repaint. They taught us to fix our bikes.
We established up English-as-a-second-language programs for newbies.
We had book clubs. We had film clubs. We also had a few golf clubs.Exhausting however electrifying.
That's what's feasible in stage 4. And also do you keep in mind the five losses that we discussed in stage 2? The loss of our regular and also identity as well as connections and also purpose and power? In phase four, these are all recuperated. It is magic to see, magic. So, I urge you to enjoy your vacation in phase
one.( Laughter )Be planned for the losses in stage two. Experiment as well as try as several
things as you can in stage 3, and also squeeze all the juice out of retirement in phase four. (Applause ).Read More
Scribe: Annet Johnson
Reviewer: gaith Takrity Do you ever desire of retired life? What's your retired life desire? Is it pure happiness as well as leisure? Can you nearly really feel that cozy wind? Taste those fruity umbrella drinks? Relaxing by the pool, countless games of golf,
strolling on the beach? I've always liked getaways, haven't you? So I believe we're actually mosting likely to enjoy
this consistent getaway room in retired life as well, right? It really reminds me of a pair I recognize. Allow's call them, “Jeff and Jenny.” They have actually desired for retirement for years. Jeff had actually operated at the same firm
for over three decades. He recognized everyone. He was the life of the place. And also Jenny, she would certainly often worked 2 jobs
Something strange began to happen. They began to nip at each other. They started to quarrel.
beginning to make community, actually didn't like to golf. She ‘d never ever been that sporty. She missed her long-time publication club. She missed her finest friends, her children, her future grandchild. What was going on? Had they not done every little thing? They ‘d relocated to bright Florida.They would certainly worked
a smart monetary expert. They would certainly conserved sufficient. I ask you, if this is the desire vision
for retired life – You see it in the adverts. Why is it that numerous are
disappointed at this age? Why is it that depression
separation prices are climbing up? Why is everybody lonely? And also people's self-worth is low? Undoubtedly we can do far better than this. Look, I have actually invested years consulting and training and researching
the suggestions, tools, as well as structures that best support us
during times of transition, like retired life. Look, I'm not right here to tell you
whether you ought to or shouldn't retire, since maybe you ought to
or maybe you shouldn't. It depends on you to develop and discover. I do desire to share with you
what I understand about these life modifications, these life quakes, these life disruptors so we do not wind up
in a circumstance like Jeff and also Jenny.Look, we understand that transitions are a regular component of life. They can be trying and victorious. They can be foreseeable as well as uncertain because life frequently does not comply with a straight line.
My research as well as others' programs us that if we bring our objective as well as focus to them, we can boost our well-being And also we can enhance our health. in retirement too. I like to consider it as an ROI, a return on
investment.But this time around for our wellness. Consider it as the “ROI”
. past our financial institution account
, an investment profile. in human flourishing, your
growing in retired life. Where” R” is where we reframe
. our current meaning of retirement. “O” is where we optimize
. the health in retirement. And also “I “is where we fire up. our method forward. Let's “ROI,” Reframe, Optimize,. and Fire up, your retirement.
Allow's begin with “R”: reframe. Allow's reframe your existing. interpretation of retired life.
Look, also words retired life. sends shivers down my spinal column.
I truly do not like that word a lot. As well as when I search for words “retire”. in a thesaurus, I see the strangest words: resort, remove, exit, my personal favorite, “go to sleep.” And, although I get it- It is really, very tempting. to go to bed in some cases, it does imply that we are. fading from life when as a matter of fact these years can be.
a few of our ideal years, some of our most growing years.So then, exactly how did it start? Well, historically, we never.
abruptly retired. We carefully moved from one phase.
to another in life. And also then rumor has it, this gentleman- I believe he looks a bit scary, in fact, German Chancellor, Otto Van Bismarck,. in 1889, developed this concept, this innovation of retirement. when he established disability insurance coverage for those over 70
. This idea was radical. Various other countries complied with fit,. making old age in between 65 as well as 70. But what's interesting about. this time period of 1889 was the life span. was less than 44 years.
An unlike our 80 ′ ish years today.
Next, allow's “O” of the ROI, let's
optimizeEnhance Let's optimize our wellness. Edward Jones asked over 9,000 retirees,” What provides you satisfaction.
time with those they look after, they like, doing intriguing things,. things that help them grow, and also being generous, giving back. Surprisingly, money was. at the bottom of the list. As well as, look, we understand that money can. bring us flexibility and versatility.
But study continually reveals us. that over a base degree, money is not the
secret active ingredient. to joy in life or in retired life. It's also intriguing to take a look at. the disconnect in between what senior citizens
are believing regarding- link, contribution, area, and also pre-retirees are considering, which is virtually their financial institution accounts. and this getaway view of retirement.And when we check out.
this getaway view of retirement,
we discover that in time it becomes the standard as well as begins to lack the pleasure it when did. It's probably why. Berkeley scientists discovered that we have a sugar rush. of wellness when we initially retire and then
a year or 2 later on. a relatively sharp decline. Behavior economists might call it. hedonic adaptation, where another umbrella drink, one more golf game simply loses its sparkle. We can likewise check into the globe. of positive psychology as we proceed to “O”, optimize. We can check out the scientific research of. what makes for an excellent life, a delighted life, a life much better than penalty. And also it passes the acronym, PERMAV. I like to think about it. as my well-being playbook where “P” is favorable feeling,. feeling excellent, confident, passionate, loving.It's like a mini minute of happiness
: a good laugh, an excellent meal.
” E” is engagement. Having interests in quests that fully. captivate us and also take us away: assist us grow, our connections, having caring and genuine partnerships. with another, with groups, with neighborhoods.
” M” is meaning, that feeling of function,. something beyond ourselves.
” A” is achievement, having favorable progression in life. And” V “is vitality, purchasing our bodies, in our minds,.
since they both matter as well as they collaborate. Look, these components collectively.
compose our wellness.
They matter, they function with each other, and also we have to bring our focus.
as well as intent to them because they can transform. It's incredibly vital.
in retired life to focus on these. We can also gain from the.
blue zones of the globe, those areas where people.
completely embrace the PERMAV elements. They live flourishing lives and also they live.
The word retirement doesn't also exist. Take Marie. She's remarkable.
volunteers five days a week, as well as spends a whole lot of time.
with her fantastic pals and also her six terrific grandchildren. She is prospering. She is optimizing her retirement years. Next, “I” of the ROI. Allow's ignite our course forward. Let's take action. Allow's explore concepts. Allow'' s creep up on the future. We understand that life is not.
a repaired destination however instead a continual style job. There's not one ideal choice for us. There'' s lots of wonderful options.
We damage them down tiny, so we really feel comfy taking activity. We take some activity. We adjust as well as modify and also we take a bit extra action.
as we ignite our way ahead. So in closing, I welcome you, every one of you, to have a conversation.
regarding your retired life. Perhaps a little differently this time. It is never as well very early.
as well as it's never ever as well late. Allow's produce a retirement canvas filled with the colors as well as.
structures of health and fired up by our boundless.
Jeff determined to go back to work part-time, and he's taking improv. As well as Jenny, she's registered. Allow's start to ROI.
your retired life chapter. Let's begin with “R”, refrain. What does retirement currently imply to you? And also what ideas are.
no more offering you? “O”, maximize. Who and also what will certainly you prioritize and also just how will certainly you utilize your numerous,.
lots of strengths and also skills? And just how does this contrast.
with those you care for? As well as “I”, spark. What is one small action.
you could take today to better understand.
your “retirement act,” recognizing the best can be yet to find. Thanks. (Praise).
hi i'm clark and today i'd like to talk to you about money goals and little everyday choices that can help you lead a successful life for those of you that aren't familiar with our channel we normally do videos on how to sail and uh wonderful places that we go to my wife and i sail a 50 year old sailboat we travel all over the world this video is going to be a little different this is a little more personal this is me kind of telling you my story of how i was able to retire young and lead this life i hope it could be inspirational to you even from a very young age i have wanted to live an intentional life i didn't necessarily have the name for it back then but i wanted to live honorably i wanted to live on my own terms i wanted to live in a way that was right but not in a way where i was following the herd not in the way that i was doing what other people wanted me to do lately there seems to be a trend for people to live a little more frugally a little lighter on the world uh you see that with tiny house people my wife used to do that you see that with us cruisers we live out here uh quite lightly um it's and i see that with a group that's referring to their idea as fire f-i-r-e stands for financial independence and retire early it's kind of all the same thing make some money don't spend everything you make don't live paycheck to paycheck so that you can be free and not live a life where you're just accumulating stuff to to impress others or impress yourself the minimalists are kind of doing the same thing though maybe they're not working so hard to retire young but they're still kind of trying to spend less and not accumulate stuff as their personal badge i've been living this way for a very long time if you're contemplating a lifestyle change in this direction i thought it might be helpful to see what happens when you've done this for like 30 years let's start out with my story i grew up in a farming town in northern new york state my dad was a barber my mom was a secretary when i was first born and became a stay-at-home mom later on she got a degree and became a school nurse we didn't have a huge amount of money we had enough though we always had food we always had shelter we never had worries but we just didn't have enough to have that new fancy car and trendy clothes and it just wasn't our thing to try to keep up with the joneses i'm really glad i was raised that way after i finished college i found a job locally in northern new york it wasn't a great job it's not a really industrial or technological part of the world and i do tech and also it was the middle of the recession in the 80s this recession was bad the unemployment numbers were worse than the 2007 recession that well wiki calls the great recession so it was the job i could find i um was a little bored with the job and it didn't pay very well because that job was so boring um i started uh consulting during the day i started meeting with local businesses and uh showing them how to use a pc pcs had just come out i mean they were the first ones uh but right along with the first pcs were the first clones so i would show them they could save a lot of money by buying a clone i'll help them buy them i would write custom software for them sometimes sometimes i just show them how to use word processors but anyway um it taught me that i could be a consultant basically i didn't have to necessarily work for a company with a paycheck i did a little better i bought a sailboat i bought a 25-foot sailboat and i i never owned a sailboat before i'd only been sailing like twice in my life at that point i worked at a kids camp and found some sailboats and ended up teaching sailing that was the first time i ever did it but sailing really intrigued me so i bought this boat and i'm sailing it around lake ontario and one day i found myself out at some little island on lake ontario alone uh no friends came that day and i'm reading a magazine cruising world i think it was and it had an article on the economics of well living the lifestyle i have now and i realized it's achievable it you know it's it's a big deal but it's not something that can't be done i knew i was gonna have to work hard i knew i was gonna have to take some risks but i became kind of a goal for me to try to retire young and get out and see the world on these terms it was it was really important that article changed my life so pretty short order after that um i found a contracting gig in austin texas i helped ibm develop os2 i quit my day job big risk there because i was just hired to come and do if they didn't like me they would kick me out but there was more money and it was a much more interesting project that one went well um i started doing some other projects and next thing you know my client list was ibm boeing starbucks uh a t a bunch of other ones you haven't heard of but doing interesting things i was successful by basically anybody's standard and i didn't quite live like other people who were doing what i was doing i was still a barber son i really didn't have this concept that money was happiness that stuff was happiness for me money was uh freedom chips a way to to not have to work later i had this saying that if you make more than you spend you're rich and if you spend more than you make you're poor and the scale of it doesn't matter this is before donald trump was president or anything like that he was like my poster child of how not to live to be in bankruptcy every five years you know it didn't matter if he was doing it at the million dollar level as far as i was concerned he was poor i tried to be rich so i lived on the rich side of that i put money away and i invested it and i set myself up to be able to retire young but not to say i didn't spend anything when i was 27 i sold my 25-foot boat and i bought a larger one i bought the one that i'm well sitting in right now uh i spent 55 thousand dollars on her uh she's um she can cross oceans she is a very sound hull but she was in bad shape so i had to tear her down and build her back up it took about eight or ten years of work while i was working and during those eight or ten years i did a lot of work on myself too i prepared myself for this long voyage one advantage of buying a boat as your well obsession or hobby is it can be home so i did save some money uh by not having an apartment anymore i just moved right aboard the boat of course the boat and its slip cost what much more than the apartment but i was gonna have the boat anyway so i tried to save money any way i could in 2000 i was 36 years old and i realized i had enough not enough in frustration i loved my job but i had enough money put away i had enough to achieve my dreams and i wasn't going to just keep chasing something uh so the right thing for me to do at the time was to close down my corporation right at the height of my income and take off sailing it was a wonderful time to be an engineer there was the tech boom going on it was really great closed it all down got in my boat and went south literally within months the tech boom bubble crashed the market dove i lost so much money in the market but since i had this minimalist mindset and since i really was living on very little money before when i was saving i just tightened my belt stayed at this lower income level as it were and wrote it through since i didn't spend spend my principal it came back it took a while but it came back the point is i was able to live on very little and actually out sailing was easier because there weren't commercials in my face saying buy this be happy buy this be happy i had a beautiful dive to go down and look at fish that costs nothing over the next 20 years i sailed this boat twenty thousand ocean miles i visited fourteen percent of the world's countries i had some amazing adventures uh because of the decisions i made in my i've been able to live a life sailing i've been able to visit the warm parts of the world get close and personal and meet other cultures hang out with some really cool people now in 55 um i've got friends who are still working and hoping to retire i've got friends that didn't make it to retire they're dead they're never going to have these adventures i'm so glad that i made those decisions in my 20s and i stuck with them in my 30s and 40s and it's given me such such a wonderful life i want to encourage you regardless of your age to live your best life come up with a plan and stick with the plan i can tell you that little everyday choices can make a huge difference in adding up to a wonderful life how do you do this where do you start i started with something that i call the economy of enough the economy of enough boils down to two things number one understand your goals what makes you happy what will make you happy you're thinking about your whole life here for me it was having financial independence and having the freedom to go off sailing for you it's going to be something else but decide what that is you have to choose something that's actually achievable if it's not achievable you're never going to get there and you have to find it exciting if it doesn't excite you there's no sense living a life without passion choose wisely you only get to make this choice once it's just not going to be time to restart once you have an achievable exciting goal that's your definition of enough it's enough to make you happy it's enough to give your life meaning and it's enough to keep you going most importantly it's a point that you can reach if you don't have a definition of enough you're cursed to chase more and more is just never achievable without that definition of enough knowing and knowing that you've succeeded to get to it a million isn't enough 10 million isn't enough the whole world wouldn't be enough you need to have your own definition of enough to find happiness number two commit to making daily choices that will let you get to your goal this is how you're going to use a little of that chasing more to get to you're enough if your life goal requires any money at all and let's face it they all do you're going to need some money achieving my goal of retiring young and finding financial independence had a lot to do with my saving and spending habits most of what i'm going to talk about now is about saving money how to build wealth through delayed gratification what do i mean by that let me first tell you about marshmallows there's a really well known and simple psychological test that's given to kids and it's like the best indicator of how well they'll do in later life it's called the marshmallow test and how it works is the the researcher gives this little kid a marshmallow and he says you know like this is your marshmallow you can eat it you can do whatever you want but if you don't eat it and i'm gonna leave the room for a bit and if you don't eat it when i come back if you still have the marshmallow i'm gonna give you another marshmallow now this is a really cool test you can just google it look it up on youtube and it's fun to watch because it's little kids trying not to eat marshmallows the point is though that the kids that can delay gratification the kids that don't eat their marshmallow are the kids that later on in life can like not have that five dollar starbucks coffee because they can know five extra bucks in my schwab account it's gonna mean like ten thousand dollars when i need it it's just the way you should live life it's so telling of a test if i had kids i'd give the kids the test and i'd use it as a training thing i'd just give them the test occasionally until they got it until they realized hey if i don't eat the marshmallow i get two marshmallows i think it would train a kid later in life i think in our society most people eat their marshmallows right away and i'm gonna teach you or tell you how i anyway got to financial success by saving marshmallows by putting off these instant gratification purchases and saving the money for when i can do really cool stuff with it and have freedom let's talk about the way to save up some marshmallows number one we're going to talk about work when it comes to work choose a profession that you're good at but choose a profession that is something people want and choose something that pays well many minimalists think that money just doesn't matter and they go into jobs that just don't pay well it's important to actually make money if you're going to follow this model while you're young in a small amount of time or you're not going to be able to retire young so again find something that people need do it really well and demand a fair payment for your efforts the world basically doesn't need another waiter what we need is a welder there's always a demand for welders you put six months into learning to weld and you're gonna get paid well bottom line understand the economy of what's valued out there and pursue a career that will let you maximize your income early the next topic is savings you need a long-term savings account for your retirement and you need a short-term working savings account just to live off of whenever money comes in pay yourself take some of that money and put it in that long-term savings once it's in there it's invested it never comes out again until you are retired you don't say there's a big expensive toy i want it i'll use that nope that money is is just locked your short term account is what you need to live on you shouldn't be going paycheck to paycheck you actually should be moving using money in that account that's a little bit old uh if you're spending everything in that account you're doing it wrong you you should have enough left over in this account to actually slip some more into that investment account when you do write that check to yourself because you save some money on not buying a latte or whatever you should feel really good the brain chemistry you make in this is an important part of it you should celebrate when you're able to put more money in that long-term retirement account let's talk about spending you should decide what you can spend based on what you need not based on how much money is in your account you want to avoid lifestyle inflation especially when you're 20s and your 30s your peers are going to start spending a lot of money around you you're not keeping up with them you're living a different life avoid the temptation to spend that extra money to show your success live below your means you've got a longer goal in mind let's talk about skills our society spends a lot of money on convenience basically paying for other people's time part of saving money is learning how to do stuff for yourself for example your car needs an oil change you can pay someone to do it but you can do it yourself and once you've done it you now know how to do it trust me it's trivial brake pads same thing really really easy job you can do it in the driveway someplace once you've learned to do that you've kind of got the confidence to start learning to do other things the more things like this you put in your belt the more things you know how to do yourself the more you can save keep this up and eventually your collection of skills become vast you can take better care of yourself with less money let's talk about food you can save a lot of money by eating cheaply i've done it to get through bad times but it's no way to live life what i'm suggesting here is just don't blow money on food you can save a lot of money by learning to cook yourself it's another skill just like your car and it'll save there's a lot of other ways to save money pack your lunch don't order coffee on the way to work don't go to restaurants as much buy a steak at home learn to cook it well when you do go out to a restaurant order water instead of some crazy drink and whatever you do don't buy bottled water if the restaurant's water isn't good enough to drink why are you eating their food it was made with that water emily and i love to throw dinner parties and that's kind of how we get that food being better feeling not going out to a restaurant and paying someone to carry food to our table but making food for friends and sharing it with them and then they reciprocate and we have much more intimate wonderful evenings that way bottom line is you eat three times a day it's a really big opportunity for savings even saving a dollar a meal adds up a lot over the long haul let's talk about housing housing is a really major expense it's probably your largest expense and because of that it's an opportunity to save a lot of money there's a lot of people out there that kind of organize their whole life around owning some big crazy expensive house they spend 30 years paying for it and it owns them because housing is such a big expense it's your biggest opportunity for savings i saved a lot of money by living on my boat i was going to own this boat anyway it was my obsession if i had this boat and tried to keep a house or an apartment that's that's a lot of money so i lived on the boat emily my wife uh she did it a different way she's a tiny house person so she lived in well tiny houses you probably know what those things are if not look them up that's pretty cool she minimized her housing expenses by like literally minimizing her house and she had the advantage of just not having a lot of room to collect stuff much like on the boat it's liberating probably those two approaches aren't right for you but there's going to be something that's right for you some way of savings living a little bit outside of the city can save a lot of money or even living in a in the city but in a less expensive neighborhood without hoa fees or a bunch of joneses to keep up with you can save a lot of money in your housing and if you live outside of the city you avoid the temptation of spending money on nightlife there just won't be as much out there emily and i live on a boat anchored in a beautiful natural bay and that decision has turned our living expense at least the housing part of it to zero bottom line rethink the size location and format of your housing you might be able to save let's talk about cars cars are like the most rapidly depreciating item you'll ever buy it's a big opportunity to save money buy an older car and learn to maintain it yourself buying a brand new car is just throwing money down the drain that doesn't mean you can't drive a nice car i drive what is probably one of the best luxury cars ever made and i bought it at 65 000 miles for four and a half thousand dollars emily has a car that's older than her but it's a really cool car and it's it's fun to drive if you want to know more ask in the comments i won't get into the details on the cars here bottom line don't buy a new car buy something that's like 5 years old but make sure it's a really good quality car nobody wants a 5 or 10 year old kia but an old mercedes or a porsche that's still a really good car and there's a lot of good choices in the middle also learn to maintain your own car we talked about that in the skill section there's a lot of opportunities to save money taking care of your own car if you stick with an older inexpensive car you really don't need to carry collision insurance i mean you can literally just buy another one for what the collision would cost in like two or three years just stick with the minimum liability that your local government requires and you're going to save a lot this list could just go on and on but there's one more thing i want to talk about that's relationships it's very important that your long-term relationships are compatible with your goals if you live with roommates or have a lot of friends that don't share these goals it's going to be difficult to keep frugal likewise if you're in a relationship with someone that finds joy by spending and chasing more it's going to be doomed to failure either you're just not going to make your goal or the relationship's going to suffer emily and i were both married before and probably the biggest problem with both of our relationships were our partners didn't understand enough they were still chasing something they didn't understand when at least we felt we had found enough so bottom line try to find someone to share your life with that understands and agrees with your idea of living frugally it can make life a lot better and of course when you get to the point of deciding whether you want to start a family that makes a huge difference financially you can live frugally with kids but understand whatever you do your costs are going to grow and you're going to lose a lot of control over your life in the u.s it cost a quarter million dollars to raise a kid to adult age and our population is booming the planet is full take that into consideration if you do decide to have children have a small family and by all means give those kids the gift of letting them understand enough and find joy in enough the biggest thing about the concept of enough is this one day if you do everything right and you meet your goal you'll be there realize when you're there stop just don't keep striving for things and position when you've got enough you've got enough now it's time to live for yourself this sounds trivial this sounds like duh you know but it isn't um i know the stress i went through when i retired i couldn't identify because it seems like everything was perfect but society had raised me to keep wanting to keep striving i stopped and it took a couple years to feel good my wife emily is running a corporation right now she does management consulting she's not going to be doing that forever and she's starting to think about shutting it down and she knows and she also knows because i've told her it's going to be stressful uh prepare for that achieving is addictive you're going to want to continue to try for more it's like natural probably the human condition but when you're there take some time to [Music] to live for yourself and you can always go back to work you just really deserve to try the other way for a while once you've achieved it let it feel good everyone should have their own philosophy if my concept of enough rings true with you use it it's yours if not try to find something else but leave that leave that intentional life have intention and how you want to live i hope sharing my experience has allowed you to feel maybe a little less alone and more inspired to lead your own better life thanks so much for watching if you enjoyed this video please hit the like button share it with a friend i really want to thank you guys for watching the guys that subscribed thanks a lot uh and really special thanks for those of you who've decided to be our patrons on patreon um we never really thought that would happen uh it was it's quite exciting to see the support come in thanks again bye [Music] you